Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fuck appropriateness.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
