When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
