a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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