Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
