After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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