Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
