We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize