Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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