seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
