Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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