I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
