i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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