im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
