You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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