come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
