Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
