I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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