ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My pussy is not your playground.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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