Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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