Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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