dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
