I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
