hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
