come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
