Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize