Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
