It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Come on in and take your pants off
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