I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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