I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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