My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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