Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize