i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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