Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
