Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was born a porn star she said
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
