No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
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Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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