Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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