hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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