Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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