This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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