Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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