im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
did i just pee glitter
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