woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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