According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
