out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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