I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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