who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize