he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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