omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
