VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
