North Korea, Best Korea!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
