just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
