He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
