Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize