So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize