ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize