What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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