dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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