It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
