I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize