His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
