if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
